Tag Archives: michael fred

These maids need a union…

nudemaids

… or dancing lessons.

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New Office Space

Image

Great view.  Reasonable rates.

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Facial Hair Follies

Chaplin can chill.  Selleck can simmer down, and The Most Interesting Man in the World needn’t moveth over.  After a clandestine, and often scratchy, two week trial the results are in.  I, Michael Fred, can not pull off facial hair.  Humbly — and clean shaven — I present the photographic evidence:  Image

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The new face of obesity is…

ME!!!

bmi

In case the private shock wasn’t proper provocation, Gold’s Gym went ahead and posted the following flyer to include fellow gym members in my now very public fight against obesity:

obese

I can’t thank Gold’s Gym enough for their Machiavellian support of me achieving a genetically impossible body type.  I will fight.  I will work out hard, and if that’s not enough, I will find the right combination of malnourishment, exercise, steroids, diet pills and laxatives to achieve the American health dream… the human caricature.

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my Wine Association of America campaign

Ultimately failed to broaden the appeal of wine, and proved universally ineffective in attracting new sampling.

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