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MichaelFred.Com
the world according to a writer/director/producer/plus size hand modeling sports aficionado
Category Archives: awkward moments
people from the midwest really are the nicest
… and so polite in even the most uncomfortable situations.
Facial Hair Follies
Chaplin can chill. Selleck can simmer down, and The Most Interesting Man in the World needn’t moveth over. After a clandestine, and often scratchy, two week trial the results are in. I, Michael Fred, can not pull off facial hair. Humbly — and clean shaven — I present the photographic evidence: 
conversations i never thought i’d eavesdrop on in a missouri truck stop
55 year old trucker #1: “Boy my aunt and uncle could really jitterbug in their day.”
60 year old trucker #2: “Yeah.”
55 year old trucker #1: “Heck yeah. They’d glide across that floor like a bowlin’ ball on a freshly slicked lane.”
60 year old trucker #2: “I like ’em slick.”
55 year old trucker #1: “You know who could really get on on a dance floor?”
60 year old trucker #2: “No.”
55 year old trucker #1: “That Patrick Swayze.”
60 year old Trucker #2 (clueless): “You don’t say.”
55 year old Trucker #1: “If I had it to do all over again I would have taken some of them dancin’ lessons.”
60 year old Trucker #2 chews up the awkwardness with the longest bite of burger ever.
55 year old Trucker #1: “You’ve seen Dirty Dancing. The ladies love a man that can move.”
60 year old Trucker #2 says nothing and keeps eating.
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